Working the Elevator Pitch: How to Build Funder Relationships Online

Years ago, I left a meeting with a Program Officer who managed about ten different family foundations. As I rode down the elevator, something struck me: those foundation board members—the actual decision-makers—came to this building regularly to meet with him about grant allocations. They rode this same elevator.

I thought: What if there was a sign right here? Just a simple poster showcasing my client's incredible work with at-risk youth. Those board members would see it, realize this organization exists, and understand it aligns perfectly with their philanthropic goals.

It wasn't a crazy thought. It was actually smart. Because here's the truth about funder relationships that nobody talks about: It's not pushiness to make sure the right people know your organization exists. It's strategic visibility.

"Just build relationships with funders" is common advice in grant writing. But what does that actually mean? And more importantly, how do you do it when you can't exactly put up an elevator sign—even though, honestly, that would work?

Reframing Relationship Building

Let's be honest about what makes funder relationship building feel awkward: we're trying to get noticed by people who control resources we need, and there's an inherent power dynamic there. It can feel like we're being pushy or manipulative.

But here's what changed my thinking about that elevator sign fantasy: those foundation board members actually wanted to find organizations doing great work. That's why they had a foundation. That's why they hired a consultant. They were actively looking for worthy causes to support.

My client's youth program was exactly what several of those foundations funded. The board members just didn't know the organization existed.

Funder relationship building isn't about pushiness. It's not about schmoozing or becoming best friends with program officers. It's about being visible in the right places so that when funders are looking for organizations like yours, they can find you.

Think of it this way: If that elevator sign had been smart marketing (and it would have been), then strategic visibility online and in professional spaces is equally smart. You're not being pushy—you're making it possible for the right funders to discover the work you're doing.

Where ARE the "Elevators"?

So if I couldn't put a sign in that actual elevator, where CAN I be visible to funders today?

The good news: there are far more "elevators" now than there were back then. The challenge: you need to be strategic about which ones matter.

LinkedIn Is Your Primary Elevator

I'm connected with quite a few funders on LinkedIn, and if you're not actively building your professional network there, you should be. Hint: connect with me on LinkedIn! This is where program officers, foundation consultants, and even family foundation board members show up regularly.

But here's the key: LinkedIn isn't about constantly posting or promoting your organization. It's about being professionally present. Engage thoughtfully when program officers share updates about funding priorities, new initiatives, or highlighted grantees. Comment when you have genuine insight to add. Share relevant content from your field.

Foundation Websites and Newsletters

Many foundations now publish regular newsletters, blogs, and updates. Subscribe. Read them. When they announce new funding priorities or highlight successful projects, you're learning what matters to them—and sometimes, there are opportunities to engage (application webinars, information sessions, feedback surveys).

Your Grant Proposals Are Your Best Billboard

Here's something people forget: every grant proposal you submit is an opportunity for visibility. Even if you don't get funded, you've introduced your organization to a program officer. A well-crafted proposal demonstrates your professionalism, your mission alignment, and your capacity. That's relationship building.

Building Professional Relationships on LinkedIn

LinkedIn is where you build professional relationships with program officers and foundation staff. This is about you, as a grant professional, connecting with program officers as fellow professionals in the grants ecosystem.

Connecting with program officers:

When you send a connection request to a program officer, keep it simple and professional:

"Hi [Name], I'm a grant writer working in [sector/issue area]. I've been following [Foundation's] work in this space and would value connecting with you as a colleague in the field."

That's it. You're two professionals working in related roles. No pitch. No organizational promotion.

After you're connected:

Engage occasionally and authentically. When they share updates about funding priorities, sector trends, or successful projects, that's valuable intelligence for your work. A thoughtful comment demonstrates you're paying attention to the field.

Think of it like any professional network: you're building name recognition and demonstrating you're a serious, engaged professional in the grants community.

But when you're ready to pursue funding, follow the foundation's directions. If they welcome inquiries or pre-application contact, use it—send your LOI or make that call with your full pitch through their approved channels. Don't just say "hi, see me!" Give them what they need to decide if there's a fit.

Making First Contact: Phone, Email, or Contact Form?

Now we get to the actual outreach—when you've identified a foundation that's a strong fit and you're ready to explore a funding opportunity.

First step: Follow their directions.

Check the foundation's guidelines carefully. Do they say "inquiries welcome" or "contact us before applying"? Do they list a phone number, email address, or only have a contact form? Some foundations explicitly say "no contact before submitting application." Respect that.

If they DO welcome pre-application contact, here's how to approach it:

The Phone Call Approach

If a phone number is listed and they welcome calls, this can be the most efficient way to determine fit quickly.

Before you call: Read through their guidelines and application form thoroughly. Nothing wastes a program officer's time—and damages your credibility—more than asking questions that are clearly answered in their materials.

During the call: Have your Letter of Inquiry and budget information in front of you. Program officers will ask questions to understand your project and assess fit. Listen carefully, answer confidently, and be prepared to ask your own clarifying questions.

This is a conversation, not a pitch. They're trying to be helpful.

(For detailed guidance on phone calls with program officers, see my article: [link to phone call article])

The Email Approach

If they provide an email address or contact form, here's where my approach might surprise you: Don't just introduce yourself and ask if they want more information. Give them the information.

Write a brief, friendly email in the body:

"Dear [Name],

I'm reaching out from [Organization] because I see strong alignment between your foundation's focus on [specific priority] and our work with [population/issue].

We're seeking funding for [brief project description], and I've attached a Letter of Inquiry with full details about our organization, the project, and why we believe this is a good fit.

I'd welcome the opportunity to discuss this further and learn more about what

Thank you for considering this inquiry."

Then attach a proper LOI (1-2 pages) with the full picture: who you are, what you do, what you're seeking funding for, budget range, and why you're approaching them.

Why this approach? Grantmakers invented Letters of Inquiry. They want a quick snapshot so they can make decisions efficiently. Don't make them ask for basic information—give them what they need to say yes, no, or "tell me more."

(If you need guidance on writing a strong LOI, I've written a comprehensive guide here: [link to your LOI blog post])

If They Don't Respond

Here's the reality: many foundations don't respond to inquiries, especially if it's not a fit. That's not personal—they're managing dozens or hundreds of requests.

Wait two weeks. Send one polite follow-up. Then move on.

If guidelines say you can apply without pre-approval, you can submit your proposal directly. Your proposal itself becomes your introduction.

What Strategic Visibility Is NOT

Let's talk about the line between strategic visibility and being annoying, because it matters.

Strategic visibility IS:

·       Having a professional LinkedIn presence

·       Engaging thoughtfully with foundation content when relevant

·       Sending a well-researched inquiry email

·       Submitting strong grant proposals

·       Being known for quality work in your issue area

·       Making information about your organization easy to find

Strategic visibility is NOT:

·       Repeatedly emailing program officers with "just checking in"

·       Connecting on LinkedIn and immediately pitching your project

·       Commenting on every single foundation social media post

·       Asking for meetings without a clear reason

·       Ignoring stated communication preferences

·       Taking up program officer time when you haven't done basic research

The difference? Strategic visibility is about being in places where funders naturally look. Being annoying is inserting yourself where you're not wanted.

Think of it this way: that elevator sign would have worked because foundation board members were already in that elevator. I wasn't chasing them down. I was simply being visible in a space they occupied.

Online relationship building works the same way. Be present where funders already are. Make your work visible. Let them discover you.

Your Reputation Is Your Elevator Sign

Here's what I've learned after 25+ years in this field: Your reputation is the most powerful form of strategic visibility.

That elevator sign I fantasized about? It would have worked for one building, one set of foundation board members, for as long as it stayed up. But your reputation as a grant professional—and your organization's reputation for quality work—follows you everywhere.

How reputation builds visibility:

When you submit strong grant proposals, program officers remember your organization. When you're professional in your communications, they remember that too. When your organization delivers on what you promised in a grant, that matters.

Program officers talk to each other. Foundation staff move from one foundation to another. Consultants who advise multiple foundations take note of which organizations do excellent work.

You don't control all of this, but you influence it every single time you interact with a funder.

What this means practically:

·       Every grant proposal is an opportunity to demonstrate your professionalism

·       Every email to a program officer reflects on your credibility

·       Every report you submit to a current funder builds (or damages) your reputation

·       Every conversation at a conference or webinar is relationship building

You can't put up a physical sign, but you can be consistently excellent. That's strategic visibility that compounds over time.

The long game:

Funder relationships aren't built in one phone call or one email. They're built over time, across multiple touchpoints, through consistent professionalism and quality work.

Some foundations will fund you on your first application. Others will take years of building familiarity before they're ready to invest. Some will never be the right fit, no matter how good your work is.

That's okay. Keep doing excellent work. Keep being visible in the right places. Keep building your reputation.

Your elevator sign is being built every single day through the quality of your work and your professional presence. That's the kind of visibility that actually moves organizations forward.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I start building relationships with funders?

Start by being professionally visible where funders already are: LinkedIn, foundation webinars, and sector conferences. Connect with program officers as fellow professionals in the grants field. When you're ready to pursue funding, follow the foundation's guidelines for pre-application contact—whether that's a phone call, email, or contact form.

Should I connect with program officers on LinkedIn?

Yes, but approach it as professional networking between colleagues, not as a way to pitch your organization. Send a brief, professional connection request mentioning your shared interest in the field. Engage occasionally with their content when you have genuine insight to add.

What should I say in my first official contact with a foundation?

Give them the information they need to assess fit: who you are, what you're seeking funding for, and why you think there's alignment with their priorities. If calling, be prepared with your project details and budget information. If emailing, include a Letter of Inquiry so they can make a quick decision about whether to invite a full proposal.

How often should I contact foundation staff?

Only when you have a legitimate reason: an inquiry about a funding opportunity, a question that's not answered in their guidelines, or required grant reporting. Don't send "just checking in" emails. Respect their time and communication preferences.

What if a program officer doesn't respond to my inquiry?

Wait two weeks, send one polite follow-up, then move on. Many foundations don't respond to inquiries that aren't a good fit. If their guidelines allow direct application without pre-approval, you can still submit a proposal.

Is it okay to call a foundation directly?

Times have changed—more often than not, foundations actually want to hear from you before you submit a grant application. If they list a phone number, use it! But first: read their guidelines thoroughly, read the application form, and do your research on their funding priorities and recent grants. Of course, never call if they explicitly state "no contact before application" in their guidelines.

Closing

Building funder relationships isn't about tricks or shortcuts. It's not about becoming best friends with program officers or having some secret insider network.

It's about strategic visibility: being present where funders naturally look, making it easy for them to discover your work, and building a reputation for excellence over time.

You can't put up an elevator sign. But you can be the kind of grant professional and organization that funders notice, remember, and want to fund.

Want to strengthen your grant writing skills and professional presence? Check out our Certificate in Grant Writing Course to build the expertise that makes you stand out in the field.

Now I want to hear from you: What's been your most effective way to get on a funder's radar? Have you had success with phone calls, emails, or something else entirely? Share your experience in the comments below.

How Grant Consultants Can Give Constructive Criticism Without Losing Trust

As grant consultants, we often face a delicate challenge: we see organizational gaps right away—websites that don’t inspire credibility, outreach that misses whole audiences, or budgets that simply don’t add up. But how do you tell a client this without sounding critical of their “baby”?

Constructive criticism is part of our job. Yet it can feel risky, especially when working with founders or leaders deeply attached to their work. The solution isn’t about softening the truth—it’s about changing how we deliver it.

Two Common Scenarios Consultants Face

Imagine this: You’re working with a founder who started a nonprofit after the tragic death of their child. In the early years, that story was central to the organization’s mission, and it remains deeply personal for the founder. But now, a decade later, the nonprofit has grown and is making a significant impact in its field—an impact no longer directly tied to that original story. The organizational description, however, still leans heavily on the founder’s personal tragedy. As a consultant, you can see the disconnect right away: funders want to understand the organization’s current reach and measurable results, not just its origin story. But how do you say that without diminishing the founder’s grief, or the powerful legacy they’ve built?

Or here’s another example: An organization calls you up for help, and you go to their website to learn more. Immediately, you notice that the homepage is all about how to donate—but there’s almost nothing about what the organization actually does. You know funders will be frustrated by this lack of clarity, but telling the organization flat-out could raise their defenses rather than helping them move toward providing a clearer picture of the value of the organization.

Two powerful frameworks can help: motivational interviewing and appreciative inquiry. These approaches help clients discover their own insights, making feedback feel like a partnership instead of judgment. They also position you as an ally and thought-partner rather than the enemy, which is critical in the early weeks of a consulting relationship. Establishing yourself this way signals that you’re not just there to take orders or nod along—you’re there to bring expertise, perspective, and candor in service of the organization’s growth. In other words, you want to show up as a consultant and thought leader, not as a lackey or yes-person.

Why Feedback Feels So Hard in Grant Consulting

Most of us have been there: a new client is excited about funding opportunities, but within minutes you notice red flags—an unclear mission, no evaluation plan, or communication channels that exclude whole populations. You know these issues will block them from winning grants, but blurting that out can backfire.

The tension is real:

·       Clients are proud of their organizations.

·       Funders expect professionalism and readiness.

·       Consultants are caught in the middle.

That’s why techniques that focus on curiosity, reflection, and respect are so valuable. Instead of “criticizing,” we can invite clients to think differently about grant readiness and their communication with funders.

Motivational Interviewing in Grant Consulting: Moving Through Ambivalence

Motivational interviewing was developed in the 1980s by psychologists William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick, initially as a counseling approach for addiction treatment. Since then, it has been widely adapted for health, education, leadership, and coaching—anywhere people face resistance to change.

In fact, motivational interviewing has made its way into the business and leadership shelves of major bookstores. Miller and Rollnick’s Motivational Interviewing: Helping People Change (a perennial bestseller in psychology and coaching) lays the foundation. Other leadership-oriented works, like John Whitmore’s Coaching for Performance and Michael Bungay Stanier’s The Coaching Habit, echo motivational interviewing’s emphasis on open-ended questions and drawing out solutions rather than prescribing them.

In leadership contexts, motivational interviewing has been used to help executives navigate resistance to change, build teams’ intrinsic motivation, and align personal values with organizational goals.

For grant consultants, the lesson is clear: we can borrow from these proven leadership practices. Instead of telling clients what’s wrong, we invite them to reflect on what they want funders to see, how their current systems measure up, and what changes they’re willing to make.

Core Principles of Motivational Interviewing

Motivational interviewing rests on four core principles that translate beautifully into consulting. At its heart, it is about expressing empathy—listening without judgment so clients feel heard rather than corrected. It also emphasizes developing discrepancy, or what I like to call dissonance -- gently helping people see the gap between where they are and where they want to be. Rather than confronting resistance, motivational interviewing encourages us to roll with it, treating pushback as a signal to explore further rather than to argue. Finally, it underscores the importance of supporting self-efficacy, reinforcing the client’s belief that they are capable of making meaningful changes.

The OARS Technique

One of the most practical ways to put these principles into action is through what practitioners call the “OARS” technique:

• Open-ended questions

• Affirmations

• Reflective listening

• Summaries

Motivational Interviewing Example in Practice

These principles may sound abstract, but they come to life in everyday consultant communication. The key is shifting from statements that tell clients what’s wrong to questions that invite them to reflect on what they want and how well their current systems align with those goals. By phrasing feedback as curiosity instead of critique, motivational interviewing helps clients uncover the gaps themselves—making them far more open to change.

Instead of saying:

“Your website is too cluttered for funders.”

You might ask:

“When a funder visits your site, what do you most want them to notice first? How well do you think your current design supports that?”

This gentle reframing helps the client articulate the problem themselves—and people are much more likely to act on their own insights.

Appreciative Inquiry in Grant Consulting: Building on Strengths

Appreciative inquiry was created in the mid-1980s by organizational scholars David Cooperrider and Suresh Srivastvaat Case Western Reserve University. It emerged as an alternative to traditional “problem-solving” models of organizational development, focusing instead on amplifying what works.

Over time, appreciative inquiry has shaped the field of organizational change and leadership. Cooperrider’s book Appreciative Inquiry: A Positive Revolution in Change helped popularize the method, and Diana Whitney and Amanda Trosten-Bloom’s The Power of Appreciative Inquiry has become a go-to resource for leaders and consultants looking to create energizing, strengths-based cultures.

In practice, AI is used in:

·       Strategic planning – guiding teams to dream big and design based on strengths.

·       Leadership development – helping leaders focus on what brings life to their organizations.

·       Culture change – shifting from deficit-based conversations (“what’s wrong here?”) to generative ones (“what gives this team energy?”).

For grant consultants, the lesson is that we can frame our feedback in ways that celebrate and extend existing strengths. By spotlighting what’s already effective, we help organizations build confidence while also inspiring practical improvements.

The 5-D Cycle of Appreciative Inquiry

Appreciative inquiry is often practiced through what’s known as the 5-D Cycle, a process that guides organizations from reflection to action. It begins with Define, clarifying the focus of inquiry and setting the stage for what the group wants to explore. From there, the Discover phase invites participants to share stories and insights about what already works well. Building on those strengths, the Dream phase encourages people to imagine what could be possible if the organization were at its best. Next comes Design, where the group begins shaping practical strategies and structures to bring that vision to life. Finally, the Destiny (or Deliver) phase focuses on sustaining momentum and embedding the changes into daily practice.

Appreciative Inquiry Example in Practice

For example, imagine working with a nonprofit board that feels discouraged after several declined grant applications. Using the 5-D Cycle, you might start by helping them define the focus of your conversation—perhaps strengthening their overall grant readiness. In the discover phase, you’d ask them to recall a time when their organization successfully built a strong partnership or secured funding, and explore what made that work well. Then, in the dream phase, you’d invite them to imagine what it would look like if every funder relationship felt that strong. Moving into design, the group could brainstorm concrete practices—such as clearer impact reporting or stronger community engagement—that would move them closer to that vision. Finally, in the destiny/deliver phase, you’d help them commit to small, sustainable steps to carry the momentum forward.

Instead of saying:

“You’re missing a lot of your audience by only using social media.”

You could say:

“Your social media presence is vibrant and engaging. How could we build on that same strength to reach people who aren’t online?”

Appreciative inquiry reframes the conversation as an opportunity rather than a deficiency.

Motivational Interviewing vs. Appreciative Inquiry

 Both approaches rely on open-ended questions, consultant communication skills, and respect for clients—but they shine in different settings.

From Criticism to Curiosity: Practical Examples

Here’s how feedback can shift when reframed through motivational interviewing or appreciative inquiry:

Case Story: The New Nonprofit

A consultant I worked with recently faced a dilemma: her client, a nonprofit less than a year old, wanted her to write major grant proposals. Her instinct was to say, “You’re not ready.”

Instead, she asked:

“If a funder awarded you $50,000 tomorrow, how would you track the money, report outcomes, and share results with your board?”

The board realized immediately that they lacked systems for accounting, data collection, and evaluation. The conversation ended not with defensiveness but with a shared commitment to building infrastructure first.

That’s the power of asking the right question.

Case Story: The Donation-Heavy Website

Earlier, we considered an organization whose homepage was dominated by donation appeals but offered little explanation of its programs. One consultant I know faced this exact situation.

Rather than bluntly saying, “Funders won’t understand what you do,” she asked: 

“If a grantmaker landed here today, what would they learn about your mission and results?”

That simple question flipped the conversation. The organization quickly saw the issue themselves and shifted to presenting a clearer picture of their impact.

Consultant Takeaways

·       Clear is kind. Avoiding feedback helps no one. Being vague or withholding tough observations only delays growth. Clients appreciate honesty when it’s delivered with care and respect.

·       Choose your approach: use motivational interviewing when resistance is high, and appreciative inquiry when momentum is needed. Motivational interviewing helps navigate defensiveness in one-on-one settings, while appreciative inquiry energizes teams when it’s time to envision a stronger future.

·       Keep clients in the driver’s seat—insight sticks when it’s theirs. Change is most sustainable when clients feel ownership of the solution. Guide them with questions that let them see the gaps and opportunities themselves.

·       Frame feedback as partnership: you’re helping their baby grow, not tearing it down. Position yourself as an ally and thought-partner, building trust and credibility early in the consulting relationship.

FAQs

What’s the difference between motivational interviewing and appreciative inquiry?
Motivational interviewing focuses on resolving ambivalence and guiding individuals toward change. Appreciative inquiry emphasizes strengths and collective visioning. Both use curiosity and open-ended questions but in different contexts.

How do I give feedback without offending my client?
Reframe feedback as a question. Instead of pointing out flaws, invite reflection: “What would you want a funder to see first?” or “How might we extend what’s already working?”

What is a grant readiness checklist?
A grant readiness checklist is a tool consultants use to assess whether an organization has the systems, documents, and capacity needed to apply for and manage grants effectively. It covers governance, finances, program evaluation, and communication.

What is an example of motivational interviewing in consulting?
Asking a client, “When a funder visits your site, what do you want them to notice first?” instead of telling them their website is confusing is a practical application of motivational interviewing in grant consulting.

What are examples of appreciative inquiry questions for nonprofits?
Some appreciative inquiry questions that work well with nonprofit boards or staff include: “When has our organization been at its best, and what made that possible?” “What strengths do we bring to partnerships that funders value most?”and “What would it look like if our impact were even greater five years from now?” These questions keep the focus on strengths while sparking ideas for future growth.

How do consultants use motivational interviewing in leadership coaching?
In leadership coaching, consultants use motivational interviewing to help leaders explore resistance to change, clarify their goals, and build confidence in their ability to act. For example, instead of prescribing solutions, a consultant might ask: “What kind of leader do you want to be seen as during this transition?” or “What do you think your team needs most from you right now?” This approach deepens reflection and helps leaders commit to their own strategies for growth.

Final Thoughts

Constructive criticism doesn’t have to feel harsh. By drawing on motivational interviewing and appreciative inquiry, consultants can ask powerful questions that help clients discover their own gaps and strengths. Feedback becomes less about judgment and more about partnership.

At the end of the day, clients hire us not just to write grants, but to help them grow into stronger, more fundable organizations. That’s the real work—and it starts with the right questions.

Call to Action

At Spark the Fire Grant Writing Classes, we don’t just teach you how to write grants—we prepare you to thrive as a confident, trusted consultant.

If your priority is to master proposal writing with hands-on feedback, the Certificate in Grant Writing will take you from blank page to fundable proposal while also giving you the confidence to handle tough conversations with funders and colleagues.

If you’re ready to grow your consulting practice and position yourself as a thought-partner rather than a “yes-person,” the Business of Freelance Grant Writing course will show you how to set boundaries, build trust, and step into your role as an expert.

And if you want both—the technical skills to deliver winning proposals and the consulting skills to grow your influence—you can enroll in our bundle option to get both courses at a reduced rate. Don’t just write stronger proposals—become the kind of consultant nonprofits and funders rely on.

Further Reading for Grant Consultants

If you’d like to dive deeper into motivational interviewing, appreciative inquiry, and how they apply to leadership, coaching, and consultant communication, here are a few classic resources:

·       William R. Miller & Stephen Rollnick, Motivational Interviewing: Helping People Change – The definitive guide on motivational interviewing, with practical tools for guiding conversations toward change.

·       Michael Bungay Stanier, The Coaching Habit – A bestselling leadership book built on the power of asking better questions.

·       John Whitmore, Coaching for Performance – A foundational text on coaching that echoes many motivational interviewing principles.

·       David Cooperrider & Suresh Srivastva, Appreciative Inquiry: A Positive Revolution in Change – The original work introducing appreciative inquiry as a framework for positive organizational change.

·       Diana Whitney & Amanda Trosten-Bloom, The Power of Appreciative Inquiry – A practical handbook for applying appreciative inquiry in leadership, strategy, and team development.

At Spark the Fire Grant Writing Classes, we draw inspiration from these frameworks to help grant writers and consultants go beyond proposal mechanics. By practicing how to give and receive feedback with empathy, curiosity, and clarity, our students not only finish with fundable proposals but also develop the confidence to lead tough conversations as trusted thought-partners.