A man participating in a trust-building exercise, symbolizing how grant consultants strengthen client relationships and build trust in the grant writing process.

As grant consultants, we often face a delicate challenge: we see organizational gaps right away—websites that don’t inspire credibility, outreach that misses whole audiences, or budgets that simply don’t add up. But how do you tell a client this without sounding critical of their “baby”?

Constructive criticism is part of our job. Yet it can feel risky, especially when working with founders or leaders deeply attached to their work. The solution isn’t about softening the truth—it’s about changing how we deliver it.

Two Common Scenarios Consultants Face

Imagine this: You’re working with a founder who started a nonprofit after the tragic death of their child. In the early years, that story was central to the organization’s mission, and it remains deeply personal for the founder. But now, a decade later, the nonprofit has grown and is making a significant impact in its field—an impact no longer directly tied to that original story. The organizational description, however, still leans heavily on the founder’s personal tragedy. As a consultant, you can see the disconnect right away: funders want to understand the organization’s current reach and measurable results, not just its origin story. But how do you say that without diminishing the founder’s grief, or the powerful legacy they’ve built?

Or here’s another example: An organization calls you up for help, and you go to their website to learn more. Immediately, you notice that the homepage is all about how to donate—but there’s almost nothing about what the organization actually does. You know funders will be frustrated by this lack of clarity, but telling the organization flat-out could raise their defenses rather than helping them move toward providing a clearer picture of the value of the organization.

Two powerful frameworks can help: motivational interviewing and appreciative inquiry. These approaches help clients discover their own insights, making feedback feel like a partnership instead of judgment. They also position you as an ally and thought-partner rather than the enemy, which is critical in the early weeks of a consulting relationship. Establishing yourself this way signals that you’re not just there to take orders or nod along—you’re there to bring expertise, perspective, and candor in service of the organization’s growth. In other words, you want to show up as a consultant and thought leader, not as a lackey or yes-person.

Why Feedback Feels So Hard in Grant Consulting

Most of us have been there: a new client is excited about funding opportunities, but within minutes you notice red flags—an unclear mission, no evaluation plan, or communication channels that exclude whole populations. You know these issues will block them from winning grants, but blurting that out can backfire.

The tension is real:

· Clients are proud of their organizations.

· Funders expect professionalism and readiness.

· Consultants are caught in the middle.

That’s why techniques that focus on curiosity, reflection, and respect are so valuable. Instead of “criticizing,” we can invite clients to think differently about grant readiness and their communication with funders.

Motivational Interviewing in Grant Consulting: Moving Through Ambivalence

Motivational interviewing was developed in the 1980s by psychologists William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick, initially as a counseling approach for addiction treatment. Since then, it has been widely adapted for health, education, leadership, and coaching—anywhere people face resistance to change.

In fact, motivational interviewing has made its way into the business and leadership shelves of major bookstores. Miller and Rollnick’s Motivational Interviewing: Helping People Change (a perennial bestseller in psychology and coaching) lays the foundation. Other leadership-oriented works, like John Whitmore’s Coaching for Performance and Michael Bungay Stanier’s The Coaching Habit, echo motivational interviewing’s emphasis on open-ended questions and drawing out solutions rather than prescribing them.

In leadership contexts, motivational interviewing has been used to help executives navigate resistance to change, build teams’ intrinsic motivation, and align personal values with organizational goals.

For grant consultants, the lesson is clear: we can borrow from these proven leadership practices. Instead of telling clients what’s wrong, we invite them to reflect on what they want funders to see, how their current systems measure up, and what changes they’re willing to make.

Core Principles of Motivational Interviewing

Motivational interviewing rests on four core principles that translate beautifully into consulting. At its heart, it is about expressing empathy—listening without judgment so clients feel heard rather than corrected. It also emphasizes developing discrepancy, or what I like to call dissonance -- gently helping people see the gap between where they are and where they want to be. Rather than confronting resistance, motivational interviewing encourages us to roll with it, treating pushback as a signal to explore further rather than to argue. Finally, it underscores the importance of supporting self-efficacy, reinforcing the client’s belief that they are capable of making meaningful changes.

The OARS Technique

One of the most practical ways to put these principles into action is through what practitioners call the “OARS” technique:

Open-ended questions
Affirmations
Reflective listening
Summaries

Motivational Interviewing Example in Practice

These principles may sound abstract, but they come to life in everyday consultant communication. The key is shifting from statements that tell clients what’s wrong to questions that invite them to reflect on what they want and how well their current systems align with those goals. By phrasing feedback as curiosity instead of critique, motivational interviewing helps clients uncover the gaps themselves—making them far more open to change.

Instead of saying:

“Your website is too cluttered for funders.”

You might ask:

“When a funder visits your site, what do you most want them to notice first? How well do you think your current design supports that?”

This gentle reframing helps the client articulate the problem themselves—and people are much more likely to act on their own insights.

Appreciative Inquiry in Grant Consulting: Building on Strengths

Appreciative inquiry was created in the mid-1980s by organizational scholars David Cooperrider and Suresh Srivastvaat Case Western Reserve University. It emerged as an alternative to traditional “problem-solving” models of organizational development, focusing instead on amplifying what works.

Over time, appreciative inquiry has shaped the field of organizational change and leadership. Cooperrider’s book Appreciative Inquiry: A Positive Revolution in Change helped popularize the method, and Diana Whitney and Amanda Trosten-Bloom’s The Power of Appreciative Inquiry has become a go-to resource for leaders and consultants looking to create energizing, strengths-based cultures.

In practice, AI is used in:

· Strategic planning – guiding teams to dream big and design based on strengths.

· Leadership development – helping leaders focus on what brings life to their organizations.

· Culture change – shifting from deficit-based conversations (“what’s wrong here?”) to generative ones (“what gives this team energy?”).

For grant consultants, the lesson is that we can frame our feedback in ways that celebrate and extend existing strengths. By spotlighting what’s already effective, we help organizations build confidence while also inspiring practical improvements.

The 5-D Cycle of Appreciative Inquiry

Appreciative inquiry is often practiced through what’s known as the 5-D Cycle, a process that guides organizations from reflection to action. It begins with Define, clarifying the focus of inquiry and setting the stage for what the group wants to explore. From there, the Discover phase invites participants to share stories and insights about what already works well. Building on those strengths, the Dream phase encourages people to imagine what could be possible if the organization were at its best. Next comes Design, where the group begins shaping practical strategies and structures to bring that vision to life. Finally, the Destiny (or Deliver) phase focuses on sustaining momentum and embedding the changes into daily practice.

Appreciative Inquiry Example in Practice

For example, imagine working with a nonprofit board that feels discouraged after several declined grant applications. Using the 5-D Cycle, you might start by helping them define the focus of your conversation—perhaps strengthening their overall grant readiness. In the discover phase, you’d ask them to recall a time when their organization successfully built a strong partnership or secured funding, and explore what made that work well. Then, in the dream phase, you’d invite them to imagine what it would look like if every funder relationship felt that strong. Moving into design, the group could brainstorm concrete practices—such as clearer impact reporting or stronger community engagement—that would move them closer to that vision. Finally, in the destiny/deliver phase, you’d help them commit to small, sustainable steps to carry the momentum forward.

Instead of saying:

“You’re missing a lot of your audience by only using social media.”

You could say:

“Your social media presence is vibrant and engaging. How could we build on that same strength to reach people who aren’t online?”

Appreciative inquiry reframes the conversation as an opportunity rather than a deficiency.

Motivational Interviewing vs. Appreciative Inquiry

Comparison table showing motivational interviewing versus appreciative inquiry in grant consulting.

Both approaches rely on open-ended questions, consultant communication skills, and respect for clients—but they shine in different settings.

From Criticism to Curiosity: Practical Examples

Here’s how feedback can shift when reframed through motivational interviewing or appreciative inquiry:

Table with practical examples of consultant feedback reframed using motivational interviewing and appreciative inquiry.

Case Story: The New Nonprofit

A consultant I worked with recently faced a dilemma: her client, a nonprofit less than a year old, wanted her to write major grant proposals. Her instinct was to say, “You’re not ready.”

Instead, she asked:

“If a funder awarded you $50,000 tomorrow, how would you track the money, report outcomes, and share results with your board?”

The board realized immediately that they lacked systems for accounting, data collection, and evaluation. The conversation ended not with defensiveness but with a shared commitment to building infrastructure first.

That’s the power of asking the right question.

Case Story: The Donation-Heavy Website

Earlier, we considered an organization whose homepage was dominated by donation appeals but offered little explanation of its programs. One consultant I know faced this exact situation.

Rather than bluntly saying, “Funders won’t understand what you do,” she asked:

“If a grantmaker landed here today, what would they learn about your mission and results?”

That simple question flipped the conversation. The organization quickly saw the issue themselves and shifted to presenting a clearer picture of their impact.

Consultant Takeaways

· Clear is kind. Avoiding feedback helps no one. Being vague or withholding tough observations only delays growth. Clients appreciate honesty when it’s delivered with care and respect.

· Choose your approach: use motivational interviewing when resistance is high, and appreciative inquiry when momentum is needed. Motivational interviewing helps navigate defensiveness in one-on-one settings, while appreciative inquiry energizes teams when it’s time to envision a stronger future.

· Keep clients in the driver’s seat—insight sticks when it’s theirs. Change is most sustainable when clients feel ownership of the solution. Guide them with questions that let them see the gaps and opportunities themselves.

· Frame feedback as partnership: you’re helping their baby grow, not tearing it down. Position yourself as an ally and thought-partner, building trust and credibility early in the consulting relationship.

FAQs

What’s the difference between motivational interviewing and appreciative inquiry?
Motivational interviewing focuses on resolving ambivalence and guiding individuals toward change. Appreciative inquiry emphasizes strengths and collective visioning. Both use curiosity and open-ended questions but in different contexts.

How do I give feedback without offending my client?
Reframe feedback as a question. Instead of pointing out flaws, invite reflection: “What would you want a funder to see first?” or “How might we extend what’s already working?”

What is a grant readiness checklist?
A grant readiness checklist is a tool consultants use to assess whether an organization has the systems, documents, and capacity needed to apply for and manage grants effectively. It covers governance, finances, program evaluation, and communication.

What is an example of motivational interviewing in consulting?
Asking a client, “When a funder visits your site, what do you want them to notice first?” instead of telling them their website is confusing is a practical application of motivational interviewing in grant consulting.

What are examples of appreciative inquiry questions for nonprofits?
Some appreciative inquiry questions that work well with nonprofit boards or staff include: “When has our organization been at its best, and what made that possible?” “What strengths do we bring to partnerships that funders value most?”and “What would it look like if our impact were even greater five years from now?” These questions keep the focus on strengths while sparking ideas for future growth.

How do consultants use motivational interviewing in leadership coaching?
In leadership coaching, consultants use motivational interviewing to help leaders explore resistance to change, clarify their goals, and build confidence in their ability to act. For example, instead of prescribing solutions, a consultant might ask: “What kind of leader do you want to be seen as during this transition?” or “What do you think your team needs most from you right now?” This approach deepens reflection and helps leaders commit to their own strategies for growth.

Final Thoughts

Constructive criticism doesn’t have to feel harsh. By drawing on motivational interviewing and appreciative inquiry, consultants can ask powerful questions that help clients discover their own gaps and strengths. Feedback becomes less about judgment and more about partnership.

At the end of the day, clients hire us not just to write grants, but to help them grow into stronger, more fundable organizations. That’s the real work—and it starts with the right questions.

Call to Action

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How Grant Consultants Can Give Constructive Criticism Without Losing Trust